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I'm an out of work actor trying to find his way in the world... and that's about it.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Drink Responsibly... because people WILL see the things you do lol

No, this is not a PSA and I will NOT be saying not to drink because I drink and I'm not a hypocrite.  I will, however, say that you should be VERY careful when you drink, what you drink, how you drink, and who you drink... with.  Alcohol makes it reeeeeally easy to relax and have fun, but have you ever noticed that time tends to slip right past you when you're having fun?  Ever notice how alcohol helps you have a LOT of fun?  But I bet you never realized that those two facts can be put together in a kind of mathematical equation.

Let's say yooooooou're...uh... bowling.  This may sound dorky, but I enjoy bowling.  And, unfortunately for me, 3-5 games of bowling actually go by kind of fast... when I'm sober.  When I'm drinking, though, at the end of it all, I'm ready to fork out money on another couple of games.  Sadly, that's usually at closing time... and I'm usually in my underwear humping a 25 cent toy machine.  But that's neither here nor there.  I like to think I made my point about how alcohol tends to make time go by faster than usual.

Ok, so alcohol is a time machine in a bottle.  Sweet.  But there is a major drawback to the time machine thing, and that is in how it works, how it teleports you forward into time.  Alcohol is a depressant, which means that it is a drug (yes, alcohol is a drug... a drug I will rarely say NO to lol.) that slows down your mind and the rest of your body... except for your urinary system, but whatever.  Point is, alcohol slows down your mind, while the world continues moving at normal speed.  The crazy thing is, the more you drink, the slower your mind works, until you start losing control of certain brain functions.  First, you lose your equilibrium, then your ability to accurately form complete and coherent sentences, then your ability to SEE clearly, then your ability to... be awake. Ok, there's one step before that last one, and that is when you lose your ability to KNOW you're awake.  You know, that wonderful period of time in which you are awake, but you think you're asleep?  Yeah, that's when the Time Machine Effect (©) REALLY kicks in.  When you got to sleep and sleep for, let's say, 8 hours and wake up in the morning, are you aware that you just slept that long?  No, instead, you feel like you fell asleep and woke right back up.  There ya go.  The Time Machine Effect (©):  You drink too much, rip open a tear in the space-time continuum, go into a kind of stasis, and wake up in the future.  BOOM!

Stay tuned for some drunk stories.... I got some funny ones

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